Fall Workshop Topic #2: The Al-Anon Promises

When I was at the Fall workshop for my district this year I couldn’t decide which topic to go to for the second session. (It seems that with these Fall Workshop topics I want to go to everything or to nothing.) I decided to go to something labeled “The Al-Anon Promises” because it seemed like something new. Actually in the three years I’ve been in Al-Anon I’ve never been to a meeting about the Promises. I’m sure I read about them and then forgot them, as they are listed on page 269 of Paths to Recovery, but in paragraph form. (A web site for California Al Anon members lists them on this page. ) I decided that for this blog I would take one promise at a time and write about them as time goes by. At the very least, it would give me topics when I can’t think of anything. But, for right now here are some general thoughts from the workshop session.

(Illustration by Amy Burton.)

The promises are actually ways that many people have cultivated better lives as a result of working the program. They are directly related to working Al Anon’s 12 steps. As the first promise states, “If we willingly surrender ourselves to the spiritual discipline of the Twelve Steps, our lives will be transformed. We will become mature, responsible individuals with a great capacity for joy, fulfillment, and wonder.” Someone brought up the idea that some people question whether or not these are actually promises. Nobody wanted to get into that argument, but in the Serenity workshop I attended later in the day someone brought up some concerns about the word "promise". They said that they personally thought of things like the Al Anon promises as "gifts. From their experience, they learned to think of "promises" as a way for someone to manipulate them. Fair enough.

I have also heard that these Promises are a bit controversial because some people never achieve all of them. Well, they are what they are. I don't think they are intended as a guide, like the 12 steps, but a way to provide hope for people as they struggle with the program. A little incentive, if you will. I can look at the list and see encouragement for what I need right now. For example, "Courage and fellowship will replace fear." "Our secrets will no longer bind us in shame." and "We will laugh more." are all things that I need right now, which give me encouragement for the future. If I had to remove the sticky title of "Al Anon Promises" I'd call this list "Hope for the Future" instead.