Al Anon's Step 6

Al Anon's Step 6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 

So, what is "ready"? When I first came to Al Anon I was a little afraid of this step. Of course, I was still thinking that outside forces controlled me, and that something or someone else would decide when I was ready. I've since found that step 6 just happens and it is instinctual. When holding on to a character defect becomes more difficult  than anything else, I know I am ready. But, it is only with what I've learned in the years of working the Al Anon program that makes me see how a defect is harmful and understand that it should go. Once I accept my defects through working the previous steps, I can work on letting it go. 

Working this step depends on our relationships with ourselves and our Higher Power. In my notes from Al Anon meetings, I have one that reminds me that Step 3 (Made a decision to turn our loves over to the care of God as we understood God). is critical to Step 6. All God needs to know is that we are willing. God gets to choose when and how fast these defects are removed. We can ask, but we must let go of the result. 

(Photo by Marcel Hol.)

Detachment helps me a lot in this step. I often have a skewed view of my own faults because of criticism from the alcoholic. I've also found that, in my early days of Al Anon, the alcoholic was afraid of how I may change through Al Anon because he has his own system of control and manipulation that I was getting ready to opt out of. The steps helped me pull away from that destructive behavior and I began to change. 

Sometimes if I am not as ready as I would like, I have to think carefully about what might be stopping me. Perfection is an excuse to not do something. I've found that when I am trying to work on a defect (or even long after I've forgotten that I've asked for a defect to be removed) my Higher Power will give me tests of willingness. That means that I am suddenly in many different situations where I will have to deal with a defect over and over again until I improve.     

While Step 6 can still be intimidating to think about, I find myself unconsciously practicing it in everyday life. I like to think of this as giving less useful things away and preparing room in myself for better things.