Al Anon's Tradition 5

Al Anon's Tradition 5: Each Al Anon Family Group has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps of AA ourselves, by encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives, and by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics. 

(Photo by Philippe Ramaker.)

I would like to talk about the "welcoming and giving comfort" part of this tradition because of a story in the "Members Share" section of the Tradition 5 chapter in the 1997 edition of  Paths to Recovery.  In the story a woman called an Al Anon phone line and asked for help with someone who was abusing drugs. The  narrator felt "...rejected, alienated and devastated" when the woman she talked to insisted that Al Anon was only for alcohol. Later, the narrator tells of how, while drug abuse seemed to be the main problem, she realized that there was also a history of alcoholism in her family.  Luckily she came back to Al Anon and got help. 

One thing my sponsor always emphasizes is to always  be aware of our appearance to newcomers. We can't judge if they have alcoholism in their lives or not as newcomers are often in denial. Often I meet people who arrive for curiosity or research or because there is no Nar-Anon Family Group in this area and they were told to go to Al Anon instead. Often these people later realize that there is also alcoholism in their lives but they did not want to admit it or did not realize it. 

I found this note to myself in my copy of Paths to Recovery, next to the Al Anon phone line story: "It is not up to you to decide who belongs or if they have alcoholism in their lives. We have to respect how other people define themselves. Do not use this tradition to see who qualifies because these are spiritual traditions and not laws." 

Only the individual can decide if they belong to Al Anon. We can't judge their relatives as alcoholics or get into politics of weather or not the family member  has yet declared themselves an alcoholic. (Though it is respectful to not call someone an alcoholic until they identify themselves as one, members can come to Al Anon simply because they are worried about another person's drinking.) We can only be friendly and accepting and the newcomer will decide if the program is right for them.