Self Care

Here is another thing that I originally posted to an online group earlier in the week.

The idea of self care was a difficult one for me when I first came to Al Anon. for most of my life I thought that the things I now see as self care were selfish and frivolous. Why should I take a nap in the middle of the afternoon or go for a bike ride when I have so many things to do or other people need me?

(Photo by Alex Bramwell.)

In my local Al Anon groups we often remind each other of what you hear on airplanes-- we need to put on our own oxygen masks before we can help others. When I worked Al Anon's 4th step for the first time it helped me realize I was sadly lacking in self care. After reading questions in the workbook that some members use for a 4th step inventory, I began to go to the doctor and dentist regularly. Before, I would always be worried about the expense of this, but now I feel better because I can take care of physical problems when they are small or know that nothing is wrong. (That saves me both money and worry.) 

Another way I learned to take care of myself is through better food. An Al Anon slogan that struck me in the early days was "HALT: hungry, angry, lonely, tired." That gave me a great way to check my behavior, and I realized that I often acted out because I was hungry and irritable or tired. A few months after I came to Al Anon I surprised myself by becoming a vegetarian. This just felt right for me- I realized that some of my irritability and tiredness stemmed from how my body felt after eating certain foods. I feel much better now.

Other things I do for self care include going regularly to Al Anon meetings, meditating, exercising and going to church. While I respect that some others don't care to go to church, it helps me because I like to get there early, sit in the quiet and let my mind settle. It is one of the few places where my loved ones won't dare to bother me!  There is a lot of sense in honoring a day of rest. I realized my Higher Power wants me to rest regularly or I won't be any good to anyone, especially to myself.