Working the Al-Anon Program

I know I said I was going to write about the topics from this year's Fall Workshop, but it got me thinking about years past and I thought I'd write about some of those topics first. Besides, I want more time to think about recent issues before I write about them. 

(Photo by Svilen Milev.)

In October of 2010 I attended a Fall Workshop in my area. The first session I went to on that day had the topic of "Working the Program". Now, if someone talked to me about working the program today I would say that I attend regular meetings (especially when I don't want to go) and think about the 12 Steps on a regular basis. I also regularly read Al Anon literature, share my thoughts in this blog and try harder to connect with other Al Anon members (my weak spot).  At the time of the Fall 2010 workshop I had been in the program just under a year and was stressing about finding an Al-Anon sponsor. I went to this session in hopes of gaining some insight about that. Instead I have some more general notes about working the program.

There were two speakers for that session and the first woman talked about looking at our own behavior before looking at others. She mentioned the value of being silent--something I've worked on a lot over the years. There is the Al Anon slogan W.A.I.T.-, as in, "Why am I talking?" I don't always add something by going on, and as someone said in a recent meeting, "Mention it once and I am giving my opinion. Mentioning it more that that is nagging." Also, I don't always have to bite into what someone says and respond right away. I can take my time to think about it, or not respond at all.

Being silent plays into detaching from criticism, which is another note I have from that workshop. I am very sensitive to criticism because of the alcoholics I grew up with. I have to remember that criticism is just one person's opinion and it is not necessarily right or wrong. If I feel that other people are sucking the life out of me I can stop and figure out what I am doing to allow this.

The second speaker in that meeting touched on the more spiritual side of working the program. He mentioned daily quiet time and working to stay in the present. He also talked about the value of forgiveness and gratitude for peace of mind. We can help ourselves by being flexible and balanced.

As far as sponsorship, I learned that asking someone to be your sponsor is often the first step towards asking for help. Several other newer members were at that meeting, and it seemed that many of us were worried about finding sponsors above everything else. I didn't get any instant or easy solutions, but, as the speaker said, "Al-Anon is a self help group but it isn't DIY." (Do it yourself.) We have to get used to the fellowship and asking others for help, which is what we do when we ask someone to sponsor us. When and how we do that is our choice and we just have to do it in our own time, no matter how long it takes.