Restoring Ourselves to Sanity

Last week I got a great new stress relief yoga DVD. AS I've been doing the practices, the teacher on the DVD seems to be emphasizing "restoring ourselves to our natural flexibility." I think, "What, from when I was a baby??" I had similar resistant thoughts about the frequently mentioned phrase "restoring ourselves to sanity" in my early days of Al Anon. No one likes to think of themselves as insane, and certainly I didn't. But, over the years of attending Al Anon meetings I've come to see a less harsh idea of this.

(Photo by Electron of Wikimedia Commons.)

First, my personality. I always thought that to be withdrawn, depressed, nervous and shy were my natural personality traits. I almost couldn't believe memories I had of myself as a child, before alcoholism took over my family. I remember one time a boy I knew had a birthday party but I wasn't invited. I actually knocked on the door of his family's home and asked the mom why I wasn't invited! I certainly didn't have those kind of balls when I was an adult but now I am learning to grow a pair in Al Anon. (By the way, his mom said the party was for boys only, but she gave me a big piece of leftover chocolate birthday cake as  parting gift.)

Also, in my relationships with the alcoholic I can now begin to see what is crazy and not crazy. With the alcoholics in my life, I live in this little world with them and I do not see the truth of the matter. I let them manipulate me into thinking that their way is correct. Last week when we were going through the codeine episode my boyfriend kept impressing on me that nothing was wrong, and I was the uptight one. In fact, after the near accident he complained that I was mad at him for being "a responsible driver". I knew enough to get away from him and get to some Al Anon meetings.

When I got to Al Anon it was a different world-- sane, if you will. I met other people who's alcoholic family members had trouble with surgery or prescription drugs. A longtime member of both AA and Al Anon told me that prescription drugs are the new "slippery slope" because alcoholics don't think of the effects leading to drinking again, just that the doctor prescribed it and it must be fine. That was certainly the case with my boyfriend. He felt he had a right to take them but I could tell he enjoyed being out of it and away from his problems.