Al Anon's Tradition 6

Al Anon's tradition 6: Our Family Groups ought never endorse, finance, or lend our name to any outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim. Although a separate entity, we should co-operate with Alcoholics Anonymous. 

This entry gets a bit off topic for Tradition 6, but it got me thinking of how we use the traditions to keep the focus on ourselves. The first part of this tradition always seemed rather straightforward to me, but one of the things I wondered about with this tradition is the idea of "cooperating with AA". I guessed it was about the occasional get togethers our groups had on holidays where we got both the AA and Al Anon groups together for one big party. I didn't think much beyond that, but now I realize we must respect the alcoholic and other AA members, while realizing we are still a separate entity.

(Photo by Joana Croft.)

I think the key word in this tradition is "cooperate". We can't join or mix AA and Al Anon groups because we must each remain individual groups. I was told that we do not have AA literature at our meetings because some members use it to focus on what they think the alcoholic should be reading or doing and not focusing on themselves. We need to detach, remain independent and focus on ourselves.

Al Anon has some specific guidelines for members who also belong to other 12 step programs because it would be too easy to allow "outside issues" to override Al Anon focused talk. Even at the combined Al Anon/AA  holiday parties I've noticed that the AA members tend to dominate the sharing. I can see how an Al Anon group could easily loose its identity in such a situation.  I go to a couple of different Al Anon groups where there are AA meetings are going on at the same time and in the same building. Often these members come into our group and, not knowing how else to do it, begin talking about their own alcoholism.  We voted to have a statement read in the beginning asking members of other 12 step programs to refrain from discussing those programs. 

 We also must respect the alcoholic by not getting involved with what is going on at his or her meetings and not invading his or her privacy when it comes to how they work the program in their way. Sometimes we may think they are not doing it the "right" way, but they have their own way of doing things, just like we have ours. 



 

Do we really need anonymity?

Recently I wrote about Al Anon's Tradition 11 and I pondered the idea of guarding the anonymity of AA members, as stated in that tradition. The New York Daily News article "Has AA's anonymity outlives its usefulness?" caught my eye when someone I know posted it on Facebook. It bothers me a bit because I think that some people don’t “get” the idea of anonymity. It is one thing for someone to say that they don’t need to be anonymous, but when people come into twelve step programs they deserve the safety of anonymity.

(Photo by Saivann of Stock.xchng.)

The author of this anonymity article argues that if alcoholics stay anonymous it keeps the disease in the shadows. It argues that people still become personalities though known by AA nicknames. (In our Al Anon group, for example, we have Big Bill, Little Joan, ect. because we do not know their last names, but when you say that most people in our area know who they are.) Still,  the very basic point of 12 step traditions is that some people just do not want to make it known that they or anyone they know has an alcohol problem. Those of us in these programs need to protect these people above all because many newcomers feel intimidated about revealing their problem  and we do not want to scare them away. The idea of anonymity should still be personally left to the participant in the program and no one should ever feel pressure to reveal this kind of information outside of the rooms.

The article quotes a doctor who commends Betty Ford for coming out about her addiction but then says he has never been in recovery for addiction problems. They also make a point about Betty Ford never drank again. OK, so she wants to show her success—more power to her. But, another reason I believe that people need to be protected is if in case they “slip” they can recover themselves without the whole world asking them all about what happened.

Someone in the comments for the anonymity article mentioned "humility" and so I think that this article ignores the traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous (and other 12 step programs), which states that.the common welfare of the group should come first and that members must place principals above personalities Members of groups like AA and Al Anon want to work on their own disease, not promote a particular person. In the comments section for the anonymity article, Melvino states that AA members can tell people who they are if they want, but it is in the media that they must be careful to maintain anonymity with. True, but again, that is an individual choice.