The Al Anon Promises Part 2 : Perfection

Al-Anon Promise #2: Though we may never be perfect, continued spiritual progress will reveal to us our enormous potential. We will discover that we are both worthy of love and loving.

(Photo by Sanja Gjenero.)

I was always one of those people striving for perfection, so learning to not be afraid of my own imperfections has been a big one for me. One way this used to come out was through house cleaning. I used to spend my day off cleaning the baseboards or making the perfect dish. None of these things really needed to be done, but I could not understand that at the time. Yet, I was very frustrated at how my life was always taken up by never ending housework, and I was always exhausted. I was afraid that if I were not perfect, someone would find fault with everything that I had done and be angry at me. This was a consequence of growing up with alcoholism, and a demanding alcoholic mother.

However, perfection was not the way to bring out my best self, but letting go of perfection was. When this promise mentions "continued spiritual progress" I take it to mean "Let go and Let God". In fact, many of the slogans help me let go of perfection, including "Keep it simple." and "How important is it?" This gave me a way to check myself, so that instead of starching and ironing the living room curtains I could be bike riding or reading or going to an Al Anon meeting. Through easing up and cultivating a relationship with my Higher Power instead, I can truly sort out what is important in life. And yes, I found that people still love me, even if I have dirty baseboards or limp curtains. In Al Anon I learned the value of loving people for who they are and I know that there are people who also love me unconditionally.

You can read all of the Al Anon Promises on p. 269 of From Survival to Recovery or on this web page for a California Al Anon group.