The Al-Anon Promises: Part 1 – Joy, Fulfillment and Wonder

Over the next few months, I’m going to write a series of blog entries about the Al-Anon promises, addressing them one at a time and thinking about how they apply to my life. The first promise states…

“If we willingly surrender ourselves to the spiritual discipline of the Twelve Steps, our lives will be transformed. We will become mature, responsible individuals with a great capacity for joy, fulfillment, and wonder.”

(Photo by Sanja Gjenero.)

From my viewpoint, this particular statement starts out the list of Al Anon Promises with a bit of a fantastical note. (For a full list of the promises see page 269 of From Survival to Recovery for all of the Promises.) I mean, "joy, fulfillment and wonder" sounds like a Disney movie. But, I guess I can say I've found these things through Al-Anon's 12 Steps. I more tend to think that I've found serenity, spirituality, and self confidence through them. But, I will think about this.

"...willingly surrender...to the spiritual discipline..." Well, I think "surrender" is an interesting choice of words, because I think of actively working the steps, but then I work to surrender. 

"...our lives will be transformed." Yes, but it has be slow, over the course of years. Al Anon emphasizes slow progress and we work on ourselves all of our lives. It takes awhile to transform, but it does happen. I've transformed by becoming "mature and responsible", by making careful decisions and not giving in to old, destructive patterns of behavior.

Joy- I've found joy mainly through discovering a Higher Power, as in Steps 2, 3, 5 and 11. The joy comes from looking at the beauty of the world in the face of my problems. I don't exactly ignore my problems, but I do find ways to solve them more constructively and make sure they don't take over my whole life.

Fulfillment- I can say I'm happier and because I've learned to look at things differently, I can take care of myself and feel fulfilled even when things are difficult. Yes, I may not have exactly the solution to the problem right now, but I can find fulfillment in other relationships, interests, work or spirituality. When things are bad, there are always other things to look to balance out the difficulties. 

Wonder- I do find wonder in the weirdest places. I've always loved nature, but my wonder in Al Anon has turned to people. Since we are supposed to keep our hobbies, opinions and professions out of the meetings, I love so many people for who they are as people. This is a great source of wonderment for me, as I've never been a people person before I came to Al Anon.

I can say there have been some drastic positive changes in my life since I came to Al-Anon. Even if I do not like the way this promise is worded it is true to some extent.