I posted this in an online Al Anon group and wanted to post it here as well. More details about how I personally handled the issue I allude to will be in my entry "
Step 12 and a friend".
I have heard that the only way you are too late for an Al Anon meeting
is when you arrive after the closing. Sure enough, one day I went to a
meeting that I don't go to very often and mixed up the time. Though I
only heard the last few minutes, the last speaker talked about Al Anon's
Tradition 10 (The Al-Anon Family Groups have no opinion on outside
issues; hence our name ought never be drawn into public controversy.)
She mentioned that she applied that to herself- when she felt she wanted
to jump into other people's business she thought, "I have no opinions
on issues outside of my own." I loved this- I now consider it my
favorite way to keep the focus on myself.
One of the big issues I
had when I first came to Al Anon was "advising" other people all of the
time. Now that I try to stay quiet when I want to give advice, life is
much easier. The other day at work a coworker mentioned a personal issue
that I felt strongly about. I was glad that I didn't say anything
because another coworker jumped in and began questioning her all about
it. It became very embarrassing for me to hear. I know that the second
coworker was only trying to help, but it just made it worse--this was
exactly the kind of thing I used to do in the past. I'm glad I didn't
get into the "controversy" because I now know it would only have made it
worse for both me and the person with the problem.
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