I miss you...but stay away

Well, I've had a busy week. For the first part of it I was grumpy and out of sorts but now that seemed to have calmed down and I can sort it out a bit.

I think I was grouchy primarily because I work in a college and orientation was last week. I promised to do that months ago and couldn't wiggle out of it, but then Boyfriend said he had a turn at the family beach house and if I didn't take it with him we wouldn't be able to go back until mid-October, Of all weekends, after having so much free time this summer... (In our office we spend the summer swapping recipes and talking to the occasional grad student. During the school year it is the complete opposite--no time to breathe.) He tried to pressure me but I put my foot down. I had to even work on the weekend and couldn't even do an overnight. Thankfully, he rounded up his son and best friend and they had Man Weekend. I was glad to have him out of my hair.

(Photo by Maja Pi.)

I felt bad, but I gently encouraged him to stay away and not come back early on account of me. Even though I was busy at work I wanted what little time I had alone. It seemed that I went through a lot with him earlier in the month and then spent the last few weeks figuring it out and trying to separate from him a little bit. Not separate as in break up, but more like reaching a new level of detachment and  I wanted to work on that  a bit.

When he came back I could have seen him that evening but brushed him off. I just didn't want to rush back into his arms after having the weekend to myself. Normally, during orientation he makes a big deal about not being able to see me and then pressures me to give him all of my free time, which isn't much. I just wanted to avoid that this year.

Though, we did talk on the phone and he came to pick me up from work yesterday so it worked out. Tonight we have a date and on Saturday we are driving out of state for a family birthday party. I don't want to get back on the roller coaster of giving him all of my free time so I told him that if we were going on this road trip I didn't want to see him on Friday (my first day off since early last week) and he seemed OK with that.